Things I’m still learning

If you follow my posts, you will have noticed that my blog has been a bit radio silent over the last few weeks. I have managed to post a quote at least each week to stay active here but writing a post has just been impossible, unfortunately.

I wasn’t in a bad state of mind in any way. I was simply overstimulated by everything around me and decided to step back from some activities until I felt more comfortable with everything going on. This morning I finally woke up with an urge to write and after making myself a cup of coffee, here I am, in front of my laptop once again.

I chose this picture for today’s blog because it speaks volumes about how I’ve been feeling and what’s been going on in my mind lately. A lot of us have grown up in a culture that doesn’t believe in breaks only in constant “striving towards your dreams”. We are told to work hard and things will work out, we’re told to put as many hours in as possible without considering our health or well-being because “that’s how you make money” and it takes a lot for a person like me to say STOP. I don’t want to do things like this.

I believe I reached that point recently when I started constantly putting pressure on myself to succeed and make money at the expense of my happiness. If I wanted that pressure, I would have stayed in teaching so, I had to find another way to do things. I took a step back from the blog and my shops, extended my Easter vacation, and worked on projects that fulfilled me at an emotional level.

I didn’t want to push myself to get back into my routine, it came out naturally after taking enough space away from “working hard for my dreams”. I wanted to focus more on my mindset as that’s what’s been holding me back the most in my journey. I’ve worked in a toxic culture that didn’t believe in breaks for too long, a culture that saw struggle as a failure, not an opportunity to grow, a culture that did not believe in giving people space to process but constantly pushed them towards more work and I didn’t want to become my old management team, I wanted something else.

Ever since quitting teaching, I have wanted more independence, an environment that was nurturing and understanding but a lot of my school’s management habits came through in my way of leading a self-employed life because I had been in that environment for so long that their ways were deeply embedded in my brain. It’s not enough that they made me want to quit a job I once loved but they also put all these toxic thoughts in my head.

Recently, I began feeling overwhelmed by how slow things were going in my business and scared that I had made the wrong choices. So, I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed in record time, feeling guilty when taking breaks, and feeling like a failure when I noticed things were not going the way I wanted them to. I took a break from my current work, to tackle those negative thoughts and give myself room to breathe.

It’s hard to change a habit that’s been with you for a while but I’ve been learning how to be more patient with myself and my business, whilst looking after my needs. Taking breaks is okay, and struggling does not mean I am failing. Everything is a lesson worth learning and I’m glad I’ve started taking a step in that direction. Taking a break from everything has been incredibly helpful and I recommend it to anyone feeling the same way I did. It’s not a sign of weakness but one of strength to realize you need a break to regroup.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Amazing!! I hope you enjoyed your break and you’re feeling well rested. We are glad to have you back. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DGs says:

      Thank you, that was such a lovely message to read! It just made my day. ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. vicgrefer says:

    we are human beings, not human doings. Rest is time to recharge, process, and prepare for the next spurt of activity. We aren’t meant to be constantly “productive.” No healthy person IS constantly “productive.”

    Like

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